Monday, February 25, 2013

I started my second try at college back in January.  I am studying to be a paralegal.  I have known that I wanted to go back to school to be a paralegal for a few years now, but was afraid to try.  But since I am on dialysis now, I figured it would be a good thing to take up my extra time.  I had been feeling angry about my situation lately, to the point of depression.  Not the kind of depression where you want to hurt yourself, but the kind that makes you want to break things and curse God or whoever you believe made you this way and crazy things like that.

So I decided to apply for school last September.  I would have gone before, but I was unsure of my decision, if it was the right time, bla bla bla...  So when I finally applied and subsequently applied for financial aid, I was worried about school loans.  My husband is currently also attending school and I don't want us to go into any further debt it we don't have to.  But I found some programs that are helping me out, so that as long as I get good grades I will have no out of pocket expenses.  I was so excited!  All the way from late October until school started in January, my husband had to keep reminding me that it wasn't time for school yet, and that once it was time to go I'd be happy with it for a week and then be sick of it!  But so far I'm not sick of it.  I am only taking 3 classes so I don't feel too stressed out.  I am really enjoying it.  But I can say for certain that I did have my bag packed at least 3 weeks in advance of my first class, despite having no books yet!

I decided to write about this today because I want other dialysis patients to know that you can do things while on dialysis.  If you are waiting for a transplant or not, you don't have to sit around and just wait.  You should make the most out of every day.  Even if you aren't feeling very good, remember that life is going on around you and you are still alive!  That should be a new celebration every day.  I'm still here!  Hooray!  You don't need to go skydiving or rhinoceros hunting or some other extreme activity every day, but at least get out of bed, change out of your pajamas or relaxing clothes and spend time with the people who love you.  Take pleasure in the little things and seek them out.  If you have a dream, small or large, set a goal for it!  Take small steps every day towards it.  Don't wait around for your life to start again.  Its not waiting for you.  Go out there and make your current life the one you are living to the fullest, whatever is in your way!